Sunday night was the premiere of season five of “The Walking Dead” and in anticipation I binged on season four to catch myself up. Although TWD is one of my favorite TV shows I had several nights where I missed episodes during S4 due to my own zombie-like behavior.
I have a lot of favorite moments from TWD but don’t get me wrong; by “favorite” I don’t mean “happy.” They’re moments that touch me or anger me or make me think about who I would be in that world. One of those moments was in “Pretty Much Dead Already” (2:7). Sophia had been missing for a while, and though I knew it was futile, I hoped and hoped and hoped that somehow she would be found alive and well. When that barn door opened and I saw a bitten Sophia stumble out with the other walkers, my jaw dropped and tears just started streaming down my face. It was actually hard to breathe. For me, that had been — and still was — the most haunting moment on TWD. I didn’t think anything could get to me the way that did.
And then … Sunday I watched S4 episode “The Grove” (4:14) and I fucking lost it. I’m talking full-on sobbing. The mention of Sophia hit hard enough (“She didn’t have a mean bone in her body“), but then what happened to Mika at the hands of her own sister … God. I expected that Lizzie and Mika were going to die, but I didn’t see that coming. And in the context of that world, I know Carol did what was necessary (I don’t want to use the word “right”) but Lizzie’s frantic begging for Carol to not be mad at her destroyed me. She was lost and confused and in a world where she didn’t belong and couldn’t understand the rules. That little girl begging was me — different setting, same panic and fear.
There are a lot of tv shows that have made me cry; I’m an emotional person and one of the few upsides of being a bipolar borderline is that I really experience whatever I watch. Sometimes that means I identify too strongly and I’m left with an emotional hangover. For me, “The Walking Dead” isn’t easy entertainment — and I like it that way. Having said that, I’m damn glad there’s a lot of zombie killing to help me offset the sadness. And Daryl. Oh Daryl…. mmm mmm mmmm. =)
So all you Walking Dead fans out there, I’d love to hear your favorite moments/episodes/quotes. I can’t get enough of this show.