6WS : 11/1/2014

me: Don’t let me fuck this up.

           Him:  I can’t stop you. I’ve tried.

I’ve been missing my ex a lot lately, which is crazy because we broke up a few years ago.  I miss our conversations so much it aches. We debated everything from politics to the existence of extraterrestrial life; comic book Batman vs. Tim Burton Batman vs. Christopher Nolan Batman.  (We both love our Batman, what can I say?)  Being with him was mental stimulation like I’d never experienced, and it didn’t hurt that he had a deep “Kiss the Girls” voice and was hot.  Really hot  😉

I’m ashamed to say I googled him the other day to see if there were any wedding announcements and when there weren’t I expelled a breath I didn’t even know I’d been holding.  (Please tell me some of you out there have done the same with your exes???)   Of course that doesn’t mean anything, he could still be seriously involved with someone, but I had thought by now he would be married.  The selfish part of me hopes he hasn’t been able to get over me; that he still thinks about me before he falls asleep at night, even when he doesn’t want to, which  is beyond unfair considering I broke up with him.  Yes, I am that evil.  The majority of me wants him to be happy though, whatever form that takes.

Sigh.  Let it go, Lauren, let it go.

• • • •

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11 thoughts on “6WS : 11/1/2014

  1. Well there’s ex- and then again there’s ex-.
    I’d like to think that mine Googles me occasionally. I’d like to think she’d be happy to find whatever she finds.
    Let it go, Lauren; let it go.

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