I’m taking part in Blogging 101 and our first assignment is to introduce ourselves. I thought that would probably be task number one but was hoping I’d be wrong, because introductions are not my strong suit. I’m more of the join-me-in-the-middle-of-my-conversation kind of girl. But I’ll give it a go.
My name is Lauren and I turned 42 this year. That number absolutely staggers me because I don’t feel it. I was an old soul at 8 and now I’m a young soul at 42. I’ve never been (or acted) my age, I guess. I’ve never been married and have no human kids; only two furry ones that I spoil as much as I can. I still live in the same city I was born in, despite the fact I swore that would never happen, but that might be changing next year.
I have a lot of the usual interests: Movies, music, books, writing, photography. I’m a movie buff and I love most genres, except for Westerns (they remind me of my father) and most musicals (there are exceptions though, such as “Rent”). Horror movies are my go-to when I’m feeling sad or self-destructive, so I happily spend a lot of time with the frightening and supernatural. Books have always been an escape for me and that’s still true. I love technology, but when it comes to the written word I prefer to hold my book in my hands. My bookshelves are not empty and never will be. I often purchase used books because I like seeing what others have highlighted, or what pages are dog-eared. It’s interesting to see what was important to someone. Photography is a relatively new passion of mine but I’m glad I discovered it. When the camera is in my hand, I’m engrossed. I’m the one holding the camera and not the one in front of it, so the only way you’ll see me is if you catch a glimpse of my shadow. My taste in music is beyond eclectic — I refuse to pick any categories I don’t like. My philosophy on music is that it makes the world go ’round and any song can be the right one at any given moment, depending on my mood or inspiration.
I have many psychiatric diagnoses, which I go into in my “About the Girl” page so I won’t blabber on here. I can tell you that I wrote my first suicide poem at the age of 9, and it’s been a struggle ever since. My past includes emotional, physical and sexual abuse and I learned early not to trust; that people would either leave you or hurt you (sometimes them leaving was the best thing that could happen, even if it didn’t seem like it at the time). I’ve blogged in the past but always walked away because I felt too vulnerable, but this time I’m trying to approach things differently and just express myself. I’m a lot like the horror movies I love, sometimes I’m dark and scary — but I have a good heart. If people want to judge me before they get to know me, it’s their loss. It is. Really. Right? *blank stare*
Because of my instability of self, it’s hard for me to nail down or explain exactly who I am, or what to expect from my blog. All I know for certain is that I’m trying to find my place in this world, and if I can’t find a place, then maybe I’ll have to make my own. I hope to get to know you all and now you can breathe a sigh of relief (we both can) because it’s time for silence. 😉
p.s. movie recommendations are always welcome!