I’m sorry that I haven’t responded to comments, etc. I had to take Mom to the ER on Wednesday because her back had gotten so bad she could barely move. Turns out she has “significant arthritis,” sciatica, something wrong with “a couple disks” that I can’t remember what they called it and she had burst a cyst; the pain of the latter is what finally got her to stop being stubborn and let me take her somewhere. I kept begging but she waited until she couldn’t walk without screaming before she let me step in and get her to the ER for help.
Anyway, she’s tired, I’m tired, Sam and Lucy are whacked out because everyone’s routine has been interrupted … And seeing Mom in the hospital bed looking so pale and fragile is sticking with me. When they were doing the X-Rays and the MRI, I was almost floating above my body from the strength of the stress; I had to keep flicking my wrist with a rubber band to keep myself present. I might be an adult in chronological years, but I don’t know how to handle things like an adult would. All of this has made me think about what I’m going to do as Mom ages and more responsibility is put on me. That’s actually the cheerful thought, because when I continue the scenario it takes me to Mom’s dea** and I refuse to go down that road of thought. If I even think it, something bad could — and probably will — happen.
Word to the wise, 2015: You’d better straighten up fast. A mother in agony, and a frightened Lauren, is not a good way to start the new year.