Before Another Day One

It’s almost 3am and I’m getting ready to go to bed, but before I did, I wanted to take a moment to admit out loud how scared I am.  When I wake up later this morning, I’ll be taking my first dose of Latuda.

I’ve tried so many drugs without success, it’s daunting to think about another”day one.”  But here I go again, hoping that this time will be different; that this time, this drug, will be The One that helps me get some semblance of control and normalcy.  Assuming I truly want that, which I doubt sometimes.  Besides the fact that this is all I’ve ever known, I worry.  What if the only thing that makes me special is my volatility?!?  (So maybe my real fear is that it will work. (???))

I guess we’ll see what happens.  5, 4, 3, 2 . . . . . . .


7 thoughts on “Before Another Day One

  1. Good luck, Lauren. Remember that you are special from the inside, not because of how you react on the outside. No drug can take that special spirit away from you.

    I would like to share that about a couple of months ago, I dispensed Latuda to a young man. When he came in to the pharmacy to pick up his medicine, he expressed to me how grateful he was to finally have this drug. He, like you, had tried so many different therapies and nothing really did it. He called this a miracle drug. He seemed so happy to finally have something that worked!

    I am not saying that everyone will react the same to the drug. I, of all people, know that everyone has different reactions. I hope it will be a positive experience for you. I see a lot of patients in so many different states of wellness. This guy really made an impression on me…so I had to share 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good luck. I share your reluctance with new medications. I had an adverse reaction to Clexa about 6 years ago and got to spend some time in the psych ward because of it. Now I really need to be on medication but I am so afraid to try out a new medication for fear of what happen last time. I wish you the best and hopefully this medication will be the correct one. If not now you just know another one that does not work.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your reply! It’s hard not to feel like a Guinea pig sometimes trying new mess, especially when you’ve been doing it as long as I have. And like you said, the bad reactions … They scare the hell out of me. Sometimes the side effects are worse than the “cure,”lol. I appreciate you reaching out!! Hugs 💜


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