Awakenings

Autumn is in full throttle, my “new year” has officially started, and I’m feeling more energized than I have in a while.  When daylight dwindles, I thrive.  I’ve always preferred night and I doubt that will ever change, despite many attempts to the contrary.

So tonight I’m sitting here with candles lit, my window open and hot chocolate soothing my soul.

Moments like this are bliss.

x♥x

edited: November 2, 2015 8:35am

I realized last night that more is awakening in me than I even thought.  I’m finding a side of myself I didn’t know I had (or maybe didn’t want to admit I have) and wanting to explore it…

I have no idea where this will lead.

Avoidance Isn’t Always A Bad Thing {+ Fonts!}

Heidi-ho, neighbor!  (If anyone remembers what show that’s from, I would be shocked. :))

I’m purposely avoiding any hurtful topics today, because I’m feeling the need to binge and I don’t want to do anything to trigger myself more.  I checked my blood glucose level last night because I wasn’t feeling well, and it was so high my meter couldn’t give me a reading (which means it was above 600).  My mom nearly went into hysterics and wanted to take me to the ER, which would technically be the right thing to do, but I convinced her I didn’t need to go and I took some more insulin.  But I have to admit when my meter flashed “EXTREME HIGH GLUCOSE” twice, then told me that meant my blood sugar was over 600, inwardly my first thought was there’s just too much going on, I can’t take it, my eating disorder is winning this war and I should just kill myself because I’m going to die anyway so why draw it out?  Instead I took a Klonopin, took a deep breath and then went to bed.  I know I need to deal with this but … not today.  I woke up determined to just chill.

So I decided that meant today I’d do something I love which is finding new (to me) fonts.  I’ve loved fonts since I was a kid.  I used to design a*d*u*l*t websites for girlfriends of mine who worked in the telephone industry (ahem) and one of my favorite things was deciding which font to use for what page based on their theme.  I haven’t done any designing in a long time —  we’re talking back in 2005, 2006.  I used a program to do the basic website and then I did the CSS coding and graphics myself.  Anyway, playing with fonts was the best part of the whole thing.  When I’m searching for new fonts I lose track of time and that was a very good thing today.

I thought tonight I would share a few of my favorite (and free) fonts.  I can’t be the only one out there who loves this four-letter word.  Right?  (Please say I’m right. :))  If anyone has a favorite font I’d love to hear about it!  I’m always on the prowl for new ones, lol.  I feel so nerdy but it really makes me happy; gleeful; almost euphoric, actually.  (Which reminds me, this is posted in a new category I’ve created called “bliss.”  Hopefully I’ll be posting in this category often to help me focus on the things that bring me delight.)

To all the east coasters, I hope you’re safe and warm!!  love to you all,
Lauren

photo by moi
photo by moi / quote from “Seinfeld”

Serenity {Thirsty Script Extra Bold}  ♥||♥  Insanity {Le Havre Layers}

"Enjoy the Silence" by Depeche Mode
“Enjoy the Silence” by Depeche Mode

Words Like Violence {Ribbon Happy}  ♥||♥  Break the Silence {Volstead}
Come Crashing In {VTKS Encount(e)r}  ♥||♥  Into My Little World {MF Fool for Love}