Seven Years

If you don’t already know the story, please feel free to read this first :  Losing Bailey.

He loved me when I couldn’t love myself.

Today makes seven years since I sat on a cold floor and said goodbye to my best friend Bailey.  I re-read my post from 2010 a few minutes ago, thinking I would be able to handle it better.  I’m not.  I know they say time heals all wounds, but this one hasn’t healed.  I miss Bailey as much today as I did then.  I guess that the hurt has lessened somewhat, but not enough.  Not nearly enough.  I would give anything to have Bailey back and yet … that would mean I wouldn’t have Sam.  I can’t regret adopting Sam because he’s a light in my darkness — and he needs me.  He and Lucy give me a reason to keep trying.

Maybe things happened the way they were meant to, I don’t know.  But I’ve had a candle lit all day in honor of Bailey and I made a donation in his name to the shelter I adopted him from.  It seems like so little compared to all that he gave me but I’m trying.  I need him to know that I will never forget him.

I still love you, Bailey.  Always and forever.

The Cemetery

You know how I’ve said I find beauty in odd places and morbid things?  Well, here’s an example for you.

While they make me sad, because of the pain and loss that permeates the ground, I like cemeteries.  I find them peaceful and actually quite beautiful.  I usually get strange looks when I say that, but since I can’t see you dear Reader, I can pretend you didn’t look at me oddly at all.  =)

Eventually I hope to make it to cemeteries all across the state (we’ll see what happens, since some days I have trouble going out on my patio), but I decided to start close to home.  These were taken September 2014.




mood music:  James Newton Howard | Visions (Unbreakable soundtrack)

The Girl Loves Autumn

Thinking about the many colors of autumn, of course I thought of reds and golds and oranges.  But this is my favorite season and I wanted to approach this in a slightly different way by sharing some of the other colors and ideas that come to my mind; my autumn also includes teal, hot pink, purple, turquoise, grey and black.  As the days darken, my mood lightens, and I’m excited to share my take on this.  =)



🎃 ♥ 🎃 ♥ 🎃 ♥ 🎃

find more autumn inspiration :  Photo Friday Challenge

Carpe Diem Haiku: Mystical

see beyond the veil
reveal the true spirit realm
death is not the end

• • • •

Carpe Diem Haiku