Sam in the Grass

I’ve been going through some very dark times lately.  So dark that there have been moments I’ve genuinely frightened myself.  I thought I knew this, but I’ve re-learned it the painful way: My own mind is my worst enemy.  Or, at least, what I do with it is.

So to cheer myself up, today I post a couple photos of Sam relaxing in the grass just in front of my (hopefully!) soon-to-be garden.

Much love… xx

Sam51316

Sam51316_2

a reminder of my furkids that have passed on
a reminder of my furkids that have passed on

Brightest Blessings for Samhain

see beyond the veil
reveal the true spirit realm
death is not the end

Hurt

I told a good friend of mine a couple days ago that I can feel the depressive vortex sucking me in.  And it is; I’m not even sure if I care enough to fight it.  It’s almost 6 am and I haven’t been to bed yet because I’ve been crying and can’t shut my brain off.  Even two Klonopin couldn’t take me down.  I might have to take a third if I want to get to sleep today … which I really shouldn’t do, because Mom will wake up and need my help.  She’s made small progress but is still in an intense amount of pain.

But so am I, the little girl inside me whispers.  I wish someone was helping me.  I hurt so much and I don’t know what to do.

God, I’m a selfish bitch.