Symptom

My fat is a symptom of my loss of safety.  My binge-eating is a symptom of my chronic emptiness.  My scars are a symptom of my inability to regulate my self-hatred and extreme emotions.  My anxiety is a symptom of my fear of both the known and unknown.  My nightmares are a symptom of the abuse and terror I have experienced.

I am lost and I am shattered, but I am not over.

The fact that I am still alive is a symptom of my strength and hope that I can still get better.

— ♥ — ♥ —

read how others interpreted the daily prompt

In Six Words I Tell You …

Donald Trump does NOT represent me!!!

{he will never represent my views!!!}

~~~ ♥♥ ~~~

get your six on at Show My Face

Empty

Empty is hollow laughter and false smiles; pretending everything is okay when almost nothing is.  Empty is pushing away the people who care about you and pining for the ones who don’t.  Empty is saying you want something real but chasing an illusion.  Empty is changing who you are for a kind word yet caring more about things than people.  Empty is a sweetly overstuffed stomach and a mouth full of bile and lies; bingeing and purging your way through another day while you tell others how worthy they are and treat yourself like garbage.

Empty is not knowing who you are or where to turn.

Empty is my existence much of the time.

L♥L
___________________________________________________

Read others’ thoughts on Empty

Yeah.

I tweeted this October 24th but wanted to share it here as well for posterity.  I know at some point I’ll need to look back and remind myself I felt this way.

I’ve realized something this week: it’s liberating to talk about being and not give a fuck about others’ judgments.

xo, Lauren
@LaurenNightSky